Suffers in silence

When all you did was try to be normal, smile as usual, act like yourself, every single day
But are you really okay? you asked yourself
You can't find the answer to that question
You tried so hard to be yourself, to be normal
But all you wanted, was to be in control
By be in control, you mean, to be in control of every single thing in life
When everything is changing every single minute, you wish that you could control at least one thing in life
For instance
The food you put into your mouth
The pain you're going through
The people you meet
Not everyday you're in control, not everyday is a good day
Again and again, you assured me that everyday is definitely not heaven on earth
You don't understand how human mind works
You can never understand how human mind works
No matter what, I hope you survive from this
I wish upon anything for you to heal
For you to get out from this nightmare
You cried, you suffered, you hated yourself for it
Nothing anyone said is going to change your mind
And now, you told me you want to be in control again
For whatever's about to happen
Your addiction with being in control is way stronger than health
You don't care how much it takes for you to get to where you want to be
Apparently, it's a promise you made to yourself
I respect your decision