I suddenly have the urge to tell the whole world what I'm going through right now. Yes I wanted to eat everythinggggg! Wanted…. but I can't. If i had a wish right now, it would definitely be that I could eat everything I want without gaining any fats, ranging from the simplest fried rice to baskin robbin chocolate ice cream! LOL These simplest food can satisfy me now because tbh I have not eaten anything dirty ever since I was told that I'm fat ( you know who you are ) I don't blame you, really. I have to thank you, for letting me know that I am…. so I'm actually conscious of my own physical body and weights so that I could control it before it gets worst. Heh. Anywaysss look at the picture! All veggies and fruits and yuckish tasteless dull meals. Those meals helped me these few months. I feel lighter every time i eat them. I won't feel guilty at all maybe because calories in them are kind of low. heh. besides, they aren't as oily as fried chicken or fried rice or urgh any nice food you can think of. Yes I'm tired, mentally drained and physically exhausted, i don't know how to continue anymore….
TBH, by just eating cream crackers, the HUP SENG one, i would just vomit everything out. WTH man. Imagine the guilt in me. AHHHHHH. oh one more thing, i have not eaten eggs in so long, i can't even remember the last time i ate eggs. urgh oh and i don't even dare to weigh myself anymore. it has been so long since i last weighed myself. I don't even know how heavy i am right now. The last time i weighed, it was 46kg. I hope it either stays the same or it goes downnnnnnn.
Anyways i have been doing lots of workout lately. From hardcore an hour jog to muay thai. HAHHAA. Look crazy eh. yeappppp. So yeah. That's it. I just need to rant it all out. I can't express it to anyone because this is kinda embarrassing so i'll just rant it here. If you feel that i'm disturbing you, please don't read anymore… I'm sorry…. And no worries I'm not trying to hurt myself. I just felt that i need a change you get what i mean? See this is why i don't talk to people. Prefer keeping everything to myself. HAH. thanks for reading until here, if you're still reading. Just wanna let you know i'm still well alive cause i just went for a blood test and yeappp I'm all fine :) Healthy and alive.
Till my next post, xoxo.
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