welcome to my life.

My life has been rough for the past few months. Things about my physical appearance, my body, my weights, my fats, basically my life tbh. I have people telling me that I look "okay". You know what, looking "okay" isn't what I'm looking for. I want more than looking just "okay". I know man it's hard to satisfy my needs. Pftt. I prefer people calling me skinny or meatless or whatsoever. I just want to be skinny. I'm so obsessed with the idea of being skinny, i would starve myself to the extend that if i eat, i purge. FML. I have this stupid brain, and it's controlling the fuck out of me. I can't control myself anymore. I told myself not to eat more than 1k calories per day. You see, that's kind of normal right? NOOO. whenever i started to eat a "heavy" meal, for example, chicken chop or oh yeah easier, my dinner. For me, it's a terribly sinful meal. I would eat it, go home, vomit everything. See. I don't know whats wrong with me anymore and this has been going on for three months mannnn. Imagine living in my body. Sighhhhh. Oh and one more thing, I have my own clock. I can never never ever ever eat after 7pm and i can never ever ever eat more than two meals a day. yes see how horrible my life is, you want? nah exchange please. On top of that, I jog every single day. Urgh during my period too. WTF man. Cardio during period? sucks. Seriously. Oh and I'm currently drinking this tea. Idk whether it's helpful or not but nah i'll give it a try. It's a 28 days teatox. So yeah will post up a before after soon. Heh. Anyways back to my life. Yessss. My life. Anything you wanna know? LOL besides my eating habit? Okay I'm learning french recently cool huh. hahahha i wanna have a french boyf. nah I'm kidding. I just wanna have a better side of me. So yeah. My life……


till the next post, xoxo