19 August - 19 September
RIP GOOD FOOD
RIP GOOD FOOD
RIP MY FATS
31 days
;
4 weeks
;
of
eating
junks
I'm done eating uncontrollably
I'm done stuffing oily food into my mouth
I'm done feeling guilty right after
I'm done gaining weight
I'm done looking like a ball
I'll come back in 12 weeks
to show you my progress
YOU WAIT
31 days
;
4 weeks
;
of
eating
I'm done eating uncontrollably
I'm done stuffing oily food into my mouth
I'm done feeling guilty right after
I'm done gaining weight
I'm done looking like a ball
I'll come back in 12 weeks
to show you my progress
YOU WAIT
I just want to say that you're brave and strong. Because you dare to write this down and post it. I never could do that. And you even told your parents. I applaud you for that. That's certainly something I cannot do
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that you aren't alone. Because personally, I understand where you are coming from. Back in high school, I became self concious of myself. I started calculating my calories obssessively and dieting. My parents thought I was starving myself and they weren't wrong. I even hated looking at the mirror because I couldn't stand my reflection. I hated everything that I saw.
But recovery is possible. I wouldn't say that I'm fully recovered. It's still a work in progress. But atleast, I'm working on it and I'm getting happier.
You can either try to recover your own or seek out help. For me, I tried on my own.
I tried to change my thinking. From not caring about what others think of me to my own thoughts on food and stuff. I know it's hard to not care about what others think. But you have to. Because this is your life. You control your life. Don't let them control it. I know it's not easy. You probably think I'm talking shit. But I just think you need to focus on yourself. Love yourself. Put yourself first. If what people say is destructive, put it aside and forget it.
I too have a hard time in not caring about what other people think. But I have managed to put myself first over the years. And so far, it has worked out pretty good. There will be people who says I'm crazy, loud, rude or even sensitive. And guess what, they are rigit. That's me and I'm okay with that now. Because who cares.
So yes, you need to learn how to accept and love yourself. I know it's not easy. But just try. Don't be too harsh on yourself and applaud every good step you take. You'll be surprised how good that feels. And no more self criticism. I know it's hard but it can be done.
As for the food part, I changed the way I think by instead of focusing on being thin, I focused on being fit and healthy. So I ate healthier and starting exercising. So yea.
As for the looking in the mirror part, still working on that. Somedays I look in the mirror, and I don't feel like killing what's in that reflection while other days I do.
I'm not fully recovered but I'm working towards it. And so far, I haven't been happy in a long time and now I am. Which is good.
Either way, recovery is possible for you. You can do it. You can get better. It can get better. You already been so brave and strong.
Oh, you can also try out this website : http://mc2method.org
That website gave me some help.
As for why I decided to recover? Because a good friend looked me in the eye and said, you need to stop. I can't watch you do this. It's like I'm watching you die. So yea. That scared the living shit outta me. And now, I'm better.
Live life my dear. Live one that you won't regret. I'm not saying you won't have regrets. You will. But live one where despite all your regrets, if time were to turn back, you will still live how you have lived because your life has been a pretty awesome journey.
Heyyyyy thank you soooo much for your story! I'm glad that there's someone out there but at the same time I'm not glad that there is cause I know how bad it feels.... I'm still having troubles sometimes you see "/ this mindset of mine just doesn't seem to go away! I know it takes time and I know its gonna be super long. sometimes I feel that telling my parents isn't a good thing cause I'm giving them an extra burden to carry but I'm glad I did anyways cause it really helped. Heh. I wish you all the best! And I know both of us can make it till the end with endless happiness :)
Delete