Words couldn't describe how lucky I am to have them both alive and healthy and by my side through thick and thin. Nothing on earth is more important than them being proud of me. I promise that I am going to do my very best in whatever I do and I am going to repay them one day with whatever I have, no matter how hard it gets, I'm never going to give up repaying them for what they have sacrificed for me.
My happiness is always their top priority. They give so much and never expect to get anything back. Who on earth does that?! My parents.
I cannot believe how selfish I am, to go all the way to Sydney to further my studies, leaving them behind breaks my heart, into pieces that I don't think I can fix with just glues and tapes. I couldn't make myself to pack up my things because I just couldn't believe that I am really leaving them behind for such a long period of time.
They aren't the most affectionate parents on earth, they don't hug or kiss but they show their love in numerous ways like other parents do. Earlier today, my mom told me that she wanted to send me off at the airport. People who knows my story would know how much it takes for her to do this. It means so much to me for my whole family to be there.
Mom cried. I told myself that I will never allow my mom to cry because of me. I told myself years ago that mom can never shed another tear for me. This would be the second time mom shed tears, because of me. She told me she would miss me when I'm not around and I, too. I didn't know that things would be so difficult. Both of us didn't expect that this would be so difficult.
A year ago, this was just an idea. A year later, this is a reality.
Mom being mom, she couldn't let her only daughter being away alone and lonely wandering the world. I'm 23 but I'm still 3 to her. I understand how tough it is to let me go. I understand how much she has sacrificed in order for me to proceed with my studies.
Years and years I have let her down. Years and years I did not make her proud. Years and years I still couldn't repay her. Years and years she still has to worry about me.
Being my parents isn't easy. I know. I'm not easy. But I'm so glad both of them did not give up on me.
One day, mom, one day I'm going to make you cry again, tears of joy when you see me succeed in life, when you don't have to work anymore, when I can earn enough for the two of you, when you don't even need to worry about me anymore. I hope that you will be able to wait for me.
Mom and dad, greatest gifts from God. No other form of love can compare to their love for me. No other love can compare to the love I have for them. To see them healthy and alive is the only thing that kept me going strong. I will never survive anything if its not for them.
My mom, has changed drastically, 180 degree I would say. She was never a tech kinda mom but she started to use her touchscreen mobile phone more frequent than I have ever seen. I know she's doing this for me. She wanted to learn how to use it, so that she could WhatsApp call me whenever she wants to. She started to learn how to Facebook recently, so she could see what I have been up to.
Deep down, I wish to die few hours after them because I know my heart couldn't take any longer than that but I know if I die before them, they will never survive it either. No parents should go through the death of their own child. No parents should.
This has to be it. I promise to be healthy and happy. I promise to come home with great news. I promise to call everyday.
Writing this has gotten me a pair of swollen eyes and snot all over.
Family is my strength and also my weakness. I hope one day, when my mom and dad read this, they will have their eyes balling in tears because this just means that their only daughter has grown up. I'll be good, I promise.
xoxo
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